Product Reviews

HEY YOU!

All of these reviews can also be seen on our review page, where they are also compared to celebrities. You should check it out. It makes for a hearty chuckle. 

Vanilla Almond milk

As a skeptic, I wasn't sure this would come anywhere close to matching the Stewart's Skim I've been drinking for over ten years. But to my surprise, this has the same consistency and smoothness as regular milk and the vanilla flavoring added a great spin.  

Rating: 9/10

Soy yogurt

I've always shied away from Stonyfield because even their regular yogurts tasted funky, like unwashed fruit puréed with sour cream. I should have kept that in mind before choosing this for breakfast. Thank goodness it was the first food of the day or else my last meal would have made a reappearance. This gag-inducing soup of chunks should not be consumed by humans.

Rating: 0/10

Organic Natural peanut butter

Kind of awful, but bearable. Only slightly reminiscent of the smooth, sweet and salty PB I'm used to. This is PB with the laughter sucked out of it. This is PB after it served a 25-year sentence in prison.

Rating: 4/10

Hemp vanilla protein powder

I don't know yet. Between the puce green color, the rancid smell, and Steph's claims that it was "horrible," I've been too afraid to try it. But stay tuned for a new post, I'm mustering up my courage soon.

Rating: N/A

Coconut milk

Smooth, creamy, and sweet with the slight hint of coconut. Unlike regular milk, it's ok to find tiny chunks floating in your glass: it's natural!

Rating: 7/10

Chocolate cat cookies

What can I say to describe the wonders that are Trader Joe's Chocolate Cat Cookies? These li'l buggers were my saviors during the first few days of veganhood. Each cute little cookie packs the punch with a very strong chocolatey flavor and a satisfying melt in your mouth texture. Finished the giant bucket in less than a week.

Rating: 9/10

Gatherer's granola

This is the perfect health snack. The ideal balance of crunchiness and smoothness. My personal favorite flavor is Chipmunk's choice which is a blend of oats, almond, peanut butter, and maple syrup. As an all-natural, gluten-free local brand, I can't recommend this enough. 

Rating: 11/10

Rice loaf bread

Don't be deceived by its simple, run-of-the-mill (haha get it? k, I'll stop) white bread appearance. This stuff is jank. It is extremely dry and stale-like, as if it was only pretending to be bread consumed by humans. Tastes like sand.

Rating: 2/10

Quinoa

Commonly confused for couscous, quinoa is a unique, protein rich-grain that pairs great with veggies or beans. A little bit goes a long way. I was pleasantly surprised when I enjoyed it and I'm glad I discovered this vegan staple.

Rating: 8/10